


I've been afraid, don't wanna fade out of my body

by cutebutpsyco



Series: Ironstrange Bingo 2019 Fills [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Blood, Blood and Violence, Hurt Tony Stark, IronStrange Bingo 2019, M/M, Moral Grey Natasha Romanoff, Not Beta Read, Rape, Stephen doesn't rape Tony, but she'll totally kill the bad guy after what she saw, that's kind of anticlimax but i needed to specify it, the first time i write actual smut in 10 years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 04:11:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18146846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: IRONSTRANGE BINGO. FILL: RESTRAIN ||“You know,” He said. “I watched you trying to understand who I was over and over again, and the only thing I could think about was how pretty you’d look like that. Powerless, for once.”





	I've been afraid, don't wanna fade out of my body

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, here I am with the first real smut fic after 10 years, and this has a lot of plot and even more warnings because I can just write plain and happy things. I just can't. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Tony so much, and to the people in the Ironstrange Discord Server, I'll write the more happy thing, I swear. So, yup, this was inspired by both something that had been shared on the server and by an anon ask, then it took a completely different path. I'M SORRY, OK?  
> It's just that it went on a direction and I couldn't see Stephen do certain things so I changed my mind at the last moment. Also, this is strongly inspired by Criminal Minds.
> 
> I really don't even know. Just, please, read the tags and the warnings and let me know if I have to add something. I tagged this as Tony/Original Male Character because this is what happens, and I really, don't know what to write.  
> As always, un-betad, nothing belongs to me and this time the title is from Stuck by Imagine Dragons.

Tony ran a hand in his hair, looking at the board in front of him which was now showing the latest victim. In the photo, the woman was smiling, chestnut wavy hair falling around a slim and pale face, bright grey eyes. Trailing his eyes down on the board, Tony could see her body in other pictures taken where they found her. Which wasn’t where she had been brutally butchered. 

“We have a matching,” Natasha said, entering the room holding a folder in her hands. Tony nodded, without taking away his eyes from the other victims. The woman joined to other four people, all of them of different ages, ethnicity, gender and social provenience. It looked as if the UnSub they were looking for picked them randomly. They usually didn’t, and this was the reason why the Avengers Taskforce was taking too long to catch this specific serial killer. The journalists started to call him “The Sorcerer” and despite they all hated when the press came up with they didn’t get any further than to admit that the person they were looking for was a male, around his mid-thirties and forties, with some kind of medical training. That was all. 

“Do you have results from the autopsy too?” He asked. 

“Bruce’s still on it. Anyway, Rose Twain. 32, born in Washington, moved in New York three years ago. Only child, her parents passed away when she was a teenager,” Nat turned another page probably deciding which information could be more useful. “She jumped from foster family to foster family…”

“What’s wrong, Nat?” It was weird for the agent to stop middle-sentence. She was the most practical woman Tony had ever met and had the ability to never flinch even in front of the grossest scenes. 

“I think I found which is the thing all the victims have in common,” She let the folder fall against the table on which Tony was leaning and watched at the man while he read the information on it. 

“Call the others,” He said a moment later. “And tell Wanda to call a press conference.”

In a couple of minutes, the entirety of the Behaviour Analysis Unit was in front of their Team Chief, Tony Stark. They were known as the Avengers Taskforce. They were the best, the most trained, the smartest and the ones able to understand the minds of the criminals.  
Stephen, Tony’s husband, once asked him if he had to be worried that his lover would try to kill him in his sleep. 

Tony let his eyes ran on his teammates. Supervising Special Agents Rogers, Barton, Romanoff and Odinson, Doctor Banner, their analyst Sam Wilson and Agent Maximoff were the people Tony trusted the most, but for Stephen himself and his best friend, the Army Colonel James Rhodes. And, for once in around four months, he finally had answers for them and for the public. 

“Nat might have found what all the victims share. If she’s right, which I don’t doubt, we will need to release the information to the public, Wanda, I trust with you for this,” Maximoff nodded. “Sam, I need you to double check and I want you too when we will speak with the press. We still don’t know our UnSub’s identity but, hopefully, the victimology will help us to narrow the field.”

He waited for Sam to start tapping lightspeed against his keyboard before looking at the remaining agents: “Clint, Thor, I want you where we found the body, we already questioned the witnesses, but I feel like we are missing something; Steve, when we finish with the press, you and Wanda will go where we found the previous body. Nat and I will try to find someone who knew Mrs Twain here in New York.” 

— 

The team was in front of a roster of selected journalists and the NYPD finest agents while they released the profile of the Sorcerer. Wanda “The Scarlet Witch”, as they called her because she had the ability to make everything look under control to the public, was moving from one question to the following with her usual ease. 

“When will you catch this Sorcerer?” One journalist asked.

“We don’t particularly like nicknames,” She answered, serving the woman a tired smile. “And we don’t have a name for the UnSub, yet, but with the information, we collected from the last victim, we will be able to know his identity sooner than everyone can expect. If the public will help us, it’ll be even easier.” 

Tony couldn’t tell if the journalist was satisfied, but she said nothing and Wanda used it to introduce the UnSub’s profile. 

“The man we are looking for is what we define a punisher, a vigilante,” Nat started. “Usually, those are people with a strong moral compass that got caught up in some injustice or perceived as one by the legal system.”

“All the victims had been judged not guilty for various crimes for lack of evidence,” Sam filled in. 

“Which means that, while they are free men and women to the eyes of the law, our UnSub thinks they shouldn’t have got away with their crimes,” Tony explained. “Adding this to his medical formation and research on the victims’ supposed victims brought us to believe that the man we are looking for might work in the Metro General Hospital.” 

Tony had tried not to freak out when the information popped up on Sam’s screen. Stephen was safe, he didn’t commit any crime which would get him in the UnSub’s eye. But maybe he could ask his husband if someone of his colleagues was behaving weirdly. 

— 

Nat pulled the car over. They had been looking over the house since the call came no stop, and Tony had started to suspect nobody would show up.  
The intel they got on that specific possible victim was weak, and Sam couldn’t check it out yet. Someone called the BAU to advert them that there had been a huge trial in which the suspect of a double murder and induction to suicide had been declared innocent for lack of evidence. Wanda confirmed that the trial was all over the news for that very reason. 

“Things like those make you wonder,” Natasha whispered. Tony turned toward his colleague, his questioning glance wasn’t because he didn’t understand what she meant. She worked for the CIA in a joined operation with the Interpol in Russia, before joining the BAU, and voices said she saw and did things for which she needed some pardons from the UN. “I know the UnSub is a criminal and a cold blood murderer, but maybe he’s just doing the work we should.” 

“We let the people decide; that’s what makes us the good guys.”

She shook her head. “Or maybe we just like to have a crystal clear conscious. Anyway, I’d say we should get in.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said, and he didn’t even know on which of Nat’s statements he was agreeing on. “Go for the back, I’ll take the front door.” 

Tony pushed the door, gun straight in front of him, and it opened with ease. It wasn't locked, and Tony didn’t dare to communicate that to Natasha, just in case the people inside could hear him and decide to try and run.  
The house was silent and dark, but for one single room, which Tony suspected was the kitchen. From that, he could hear two different voices. One was pleading the other.

“Nat,” Stark whispered in the comm. “I’m in, there are at least two people inside. Call the reinforcement and get ready for them to run in your direction.” 

“Copy that, boss,” The woman answered, while he turned the corner raising the gun and ready to shoot to whoever moved inside the room. And the view in front of him stopped Stark right in the place. 

In front of him, there was a body, in the exact same position of the other fours found by the team. Body sprawled on the counter, the man was lying on it, his entire body opened from the groin to the neck. Though, this time, it wasn’t the only cut on the victim’s body. Blood was running down the man’s wrist pooling on the floor. The voices came from a tape which stopped and started to play again. 

“He’s gone. Whoever our UnSub is, lef-” And then something hit Tony’s head and everything went black. 

— 

Stark knew he had been stupid. He let his guard down for less than five minutes and the UnSub got him. It was rule number one, and he broke it because he was too focused on trying to find something that would allow them to catch the Sorcerer. That ended up in being, very likely, the next victim of said UnSub. 

Tony gained consciousness back all at once. His head was hurting, and it took him a couple of minutes to realize that he couldn’t feel his hands because his arms were kept together by a couple of handcuffs. His feet didn’t touch the ground, and he was simply hanging there, trying to understand where there was. 

He hard stories from people who had been hit in the head, but it wasn’t anything like he had been told. Memories didn’t flinch in front of his eyes, and he knew what was going to wait for him once the door he was staring at would have opened. “Stephen,” He whispered, his eyes meeting the golden band around his left ring finger. “I’m sorry, I’d been stupid. I really wanted to stay with you this morning, have breakfast together and tell you how much I love you,” Instead he left before his husband could get up, called on a case they were working on while still trying to identify the Sorcerer. “I’m sorry, babe. When the team will find me, it will probably be too late. But know that I love you, more than you can even imagine.”

He wasn’t a man used to speak about his feelings. Neither of them had ever been, and how they managed to get that work was still a mystery to a lot of people, but they did it. Despite their egos, despite their works which kept them extremely busy, despite the fact that both of them weren’t the most sharing people in the world. They did it. And now Tony was going to die alone in some unknown place at the mercy of some psycho serial killer. 

He tried to think about something different, tried to recall every memory from his training which would let him find a way out of it, but his brain was filled with his husband’s eyes, and that was the only thing he could think about. _Please, do not bring my body to Metro General._ He thought as if it could make anything easier. 

The door swung open after what seemed to be an eternity and a part of Tony questioned if there were cameras wherever he was kept so that the psycho could choose the best moment to walk in and make his little show. 

“Agent Stark,” The man said, he was high, higher than Tony was and that was pretty much everything the agent could say about his captor: the room where he was kept was almost black while from the opened door a bright light streamed inside letting the man’s face be completely in the dark. For what Tony could say, the man was wearing a hood that covered everything but his mouth. “It’s been a while, and I have to admit I started to be curious to meet you.”

“Yeah, all you had to do was walking into the BAU quarters, then,” Tony replied, despite his position. The man’s head tilted slightly, but enough to Stark to guess any of his lineaments.  
He didn’t hope for that much either. The person in front of him wasn’t some sort of stupid kid who decided to protest against some injustice during a manifestation, he was a man who killed people methodically and was smart enough to don’t get caught and to stop the exact moment they were too close to get him. That was why it took so long to Tony’s team to find something that all his victims had in common. 

Kidnapping a BAU agent was a rush move, a reckless one as well, but Tony knew they didn’t have enough on the UnSub to find him in time. “I could have. Maybe I walked through those very same doors and neither you or your friends noticed me. How does it sound to you?”

Calm, collected, sure about his own power. That wasn’t a crazy man speaking. He was telling him that he did all those things. And they didn’t notice. Tony tried to swallow the awareness that it was a possibility and rose his eyes, trying to spot something of the man’s face. “What do you want?” 

“I told you, met the BAU chief,” The smile he flashed Tony was pure coldness. 

“You are a doctor,” Tony tried, he didn’t even know if that was true, but pretending was the best thing he could do. Pretending they knew more and trying to gain some times, minutes, seconds, everything could go. The UnSub very likely deactivated his comm when he took him, but Nat was in the house which meant that it didn’t require a lot for them to understand what happened. Which meant they were too far from the last victim’s house. Which brought him to think that, at least, the man wasn’t going to kill anyone else. “You swore an oath, and you killed people.” He didn’t say "innocents".

“I killed people who deserved it,” The UnSub answered. If he was surprised that they were that far, he didn’t let it out. “People your precious system let go because they didn’t have enough proves. Do you what does it mean? It means that a jury knows they are guilty, but you didn’t find enough evidence of that, or they hired a better lawyer.” 

Tony had to fight the impulse to roll his eyes at the ceiling. He didn’t, because he could see the ring doing that, and he didn’t want to think about his husband at that moment. “So is your solution to kill them all?” 

“Just the ones that will help people to open their eyes on our justice system,” He answered, before turning his back at Tony and walking out of the room. 

— 

The man’s eyes ran from the screen where pictures of his captive were projected to the one on his laptop, fingers tapping over the keyboard. Pictures and articles of Tony Stark’s life and career were flashing rapidly in front of his eyes. The man’s past was clearer than stream water and he couldn’t even find a fine at his name. He already knew that. 

“I should have listened to you, baby,” His voice was coming from the feed video of the room where he was keeping Stark. “Give up on BAU and move somewhere nice. Maybe adopt a kid and some dogs. You know I’m more a cat person, but for you, I would have opened a shelter. God, I love you so much.” 

The doctor turned the audio off and went back to his unprolific research. He didn’t want to kill the man; he didn’t have to, that was another reason why he wanted to speak with him. What he didn’t expect for was how the man being completely at his mercy didn’t change the behaviour he always showed in front of the cameras.  
He sighed, looked at his mobile and got ready for his shift at the hospital. 

—

Tony was used not to eat or drink for a long time. It wasn’t a problem, despite the Sorcerer kept to try and feed him every day. He didn’t want to, because he had been stupid enough to let the man catch him, and he was pretty like sure that the food was spoiled. Though he knew he would give up sooner or later. 

The position from which he hadn’t been released since he woke up in that room was extremely painful for his wrists and the lack of nourishment was making it even more unbearable. The man entered twice every day in the room and spoke to him about his victims, which they did and how he found out that the jury didn’t have enough proves to condemn them, though he never showed his face and that made Tony wonder if he was really going to kill him.  
Maybe he was just trying to make him believe that he was going to spare his life to end it when Tony didn’t expect for but there was something weird, in each of their interactions, and the only thing that the agent could think about was that the man in front of him was waiting for the team to catch him. It was a crazy thought, but Tony couldn’t see any other reason for that behaviour. 

He knew he couldn’t go on like that for long, and that he couldn’t ignore his body asking for food and water, and the only thing Tony could hope for was for the team to find him sooner than later. 

“You should drink something,” The man’s voice reached him. And, by now, Tony was so used to it that in his ears sounded like Stephen’s.

“You first, I don’t trust you, Sorcerer,” Tony said, and whatever mocking tone he was going for was far forgotten. 

The man took a sip of water and then pushed the glass against Stark’s lips. He didn’t even care to watch for his captor while he spat on the floor. The truth was that he was too tired and broken, and he had lost every hope to be found. He had been stupid enough to get caught, and he was never going to see the love of his life again. How the Sorcerer was going to kill him, for Tony was fine. 

—

The first thing he realized when he opened his eyes was that he was a completely new position. He wasn’t simply hanging, his weight held by his wrist and the handcuffs that were supporting most of it, he was lying, on something soft, though he still had the things on and while he tried to move his feet he found them being held in the very same way. 

The first thought that crossed his mind was that the Sorcerer was finally going to kill him. It was the very same position they found all the other victims, but the cut running through their bodies (which Tony was extremely glad not to be gifted with). Though, what really surprised him, was that he was completely naked as well. All the victims had been found with their clothes on, just opened what was necessary to cut them methodically. He tried not to think about what that might mean and, again, as if the Sorcerer could hear his thoughts, the man walked inside the room. 

“You know,” He said. “I watched you trying to understand who I was over and over again, and the only thing I could think about was how pretty you’d look like that. Powerless, for once.”

Tony tried not to look at him, his mind trying to go somewhere else, while everything around him was screaming just one thing. Before he could see the man’s face, something dark and soft fell against his eyes. He could hear the man walking around him and a cold hand raising his head, despite every attempt he made to oppose to the other’s gesture. In a matter of seconds, all he could see was black in front of him and the thigh piece of fabric made impossible for Tony to keep his eyes opened. The man moved again, stopping at his feet. Tony tried to bring them closer, but the handcuffs around his ankles made it impossible. 

The hands trailed up his thighs, and for Tony was a blessing not being able to look at the man. “It would be so easy for me, to kill you now,” He whispered, the man’s breath ghosting over Stark’s legs. “But then I thought that maybe we could have some fun, before.” 

Tony tried again to move his legs, just to meet the grip of iron of the other man keeping them spread, a moment later, he tried with his wrists, even though he knew it was pretty like pointless. The only thing he managed to do was to hurt them even more. The Sorcerer’s hands ran on his ass, and Tony hated the fact that he knew what was going to happen later. He tried to ask for Stephen’s forgiveness over and over again, without letting the man know that. He simply couldn’t let him. He couldn’t betray his husband like that and it didn’t even matter that he was trying to push the man away from him. 

He tried to move again, but panic was raising in his body and he couldn’t do anything different from just trying to push back the tears that he was feeling pooling in his eyes.  
The man’s finger rapidly found his way inside of Tony. The BAU agent hated how he was feeling his cock grew harder under the Sorcerer’s attention. 

He tried to breathe, over and over again, tried to move, while the only thing he could do was bucking his hips up, gaining a cold laugh from the other man. “Stop, please!” He said, and his voice was shaking, barely audible, thanks to the long time he didn’t use it and the tears which he was trying to keep back. The only result was for the laugh to become more fanatic. 

And a moment later the Sorcerer’s finger hit his prostate with almost clinical precision. And, despite everything, Tony couldn’t help for a moan to escape his lips. It was raw, desperate and pitiful, but Tony could hear it and he was sure that the other heard it too. The next hit was even more precise. And then the man bent over Tony’s body, brushing his own cock against Stark’s. “You like it, don’t you?” He asked, moving back and his fingers out his hole. 

The agent heard the man shifting on the bed, the weight of the man shifting back on his knees and then his hands again on his thighs before he felt the other’s cock against his asshole. Tony moved his right leg, and the noise of metal against metal reached his ears with the echo of the useless of that movement and the next thing Tony felt was the pain while the man penetrated him.

Tony’s breath became frantic, even more than it had been before, and he felt completely useless all over again. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t see and that small relief was rapidly becoming another reason for him to panic. 

Another thrust brought Tony back on the verge of tears. Again, Tony tried to push the man back with his knee and now the man’s hand pushed it back against the mattress. _Please, Stephen, I love you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._ He thought, again and again. 

Tony suspected the man was missing his prostate on purpose, trying to stretch his torture as far as possible. He didn’t understand why, but maybe they got too close and he hoped that there was a way to stop the BAU. And then, everything changed when he found the right angle, slamming against Tony’s prostate. The man was speaking, Tony could hear him, though he couldn’t make out any words, too overwhelmed by his own thought and the crazy frequency at which his heart was beating in his ears. He was glad for that; he couldn’t bear that as well. Not when he wasn’t any longer able to control himself from coming. He couldn’t give the man that satisfaction, but his body betrayed him. 

“I’m so sorry, Stephen,” Was the only thing Tony had been able to say, and then he couldn’t even say what happened after. All he knew was that someone took off the soft fabric around his eyes, and he was starting to a very pale Steve. 

“He’s hyperventilating,” The other agent said, a hand on Tony’s shoulder while his other was trying to free him for the handcuffs. Stark knew he was shaking, he also knew he was very naked and was aware of the fact that his stomach was sticky with his own cum. He tried to take his eyes off from his teammate, blushing furiously just to meet again Steve’s cerulean eyes. “Tony is fine, look at me, we got you.”

“Stephen…” He whispered, and he didn’t even know what he was going to tell his husband once he’ll meet him again. He couldn’t lie to him, but he was too afraid to see him turning his backs at him because he betrayed him. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want to. He let that man get him, and he let the Sorcerer do to him whatever he had wanted to. 

Steve nodded. “He’s the one who helped us to identify the Sorcerer, he wants to see you.” And then Steve bent over Tony to help him with a shock blanket, just to find Stark to curl up in the further corner of the bed on which he still was. 

A moment later, Nat showed Rogers away from him. “Hey, let me, ok?” She asked. “Do you want to see Stephen now?”

Tony nodded, letting Natasha wrap him in the blanket. Her hands were soft, when she brushed his hair and she was thin enough for him to push her away if she tried anything. And Tony hated the idea of doing something like that to someone of his team, but he knew that the reaction his body had to Steve was because of that. He hadn’t been strong enough, he betrayed his husband, and now the only thing he could do was shaking and crying and trying not to look at anyone who knew what happened. “But please, stay?” 

“I’m not going anywhere, boss,” Nat said, and Tony was glad that she wasn’t taking pity on him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” He started, the exact moment Stephen reached Tony, keeping his distance without being told to. 

“Tony, it’s not your fault,” Stephen said. “It’s not your fault, and you shouldn't ask for forgiveness. I should have understood who he was before. I love you, baby, I love you.” 

And while the only thing Tony wanted to do was to touch Stephen, he knew his body wouldn’t answer to that wish so he just nodded, trying not to think about the cold and strong hands that blindfolded him, their touch so steady and similar to Stephen’s. And when he felt Nat tightening her grip on his hand, he knew he was shaking. He saw his husband nodding and moving slightly to his side, letting him see the shy out of the window of the bedroom where his capture brought him. And Tony knew it was Stephen’s way to let him know that he was free and that he would love him, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are the air I breathe and the reason why I write, so make ur girl happy.
> 
>  **wanna say 'hi'? do you have a prompt for me?** find me on [tumblr](https://ironstrange-is-the-endgame.tumblr.com/).  
> find my entire bingo card [dreamwidth](https://myrcellabaratheon.dreamwidth.org/3827.html) and [pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/511160).


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